some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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