im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
