is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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