Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
