Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
