it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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