I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
