I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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