on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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