we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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