I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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