God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
