It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize