My sheets look like a crime scene.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
