It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
