we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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