I'm drive I can fine osifer
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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