yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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