Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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