Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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