how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
