She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
In other news, I just burned my penis
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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