Ambien. No doubt about it.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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