there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You don't make any sense
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