i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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