I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Success! We fucked roommates!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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