my vag is so smooth its legendary
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
