if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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