I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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