would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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