It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.