So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.