dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
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There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
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On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes