Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
