I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
