I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
