Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
