the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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