i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
