Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
