1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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