You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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