fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
