Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize