not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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