you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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