You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He's on the porch naked. Help.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
