So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
