I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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