Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
