piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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