Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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