All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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