I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
