my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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