Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
