Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Soap is not a condiment
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
These tits shall not be calmed
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
