32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
