This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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