For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
