i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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