Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The beers last night were like the tears from god
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
